Of Confusion and Such
by Something Unnatural
Summary: A group of psychotic outcast ninjas who form a team, AND MAYBE EVEN DESTROY THE WORLD! Contains bad words! WATCH OUT!
1. Chapter Won

The dumbest thing I have EVER written. And that's why there are so many grammar and possibly spelling errors. BEARS with me! Oh lol bears.

Naruto belongs to whoever it belongs to, but it's not me. The characters were based off some of the random-ass people you see in Naruto's class in the first episode. xD

I might make more. Tell me if you like the stupidity.

"Okay, class." Announced the super amazing NINJA teacher, "Now that all of the important main characters have been assigned teams that will help us develop the plot, the rest of you can pick your own teams… with your friends…. and junk. I'M OUT!"

"Goddammit," Lennie sighed. "I picked a bad day to not have any friends." He slouched down in his chair, and slapped his head as hard as he could on his desk. "Oww."

Just then, as if by magic, or NINJA tricks, appeared the most silent guy in the class. He then started waving his hands in weird-ass formations in front of Lennie's face. This guy literally NEVER spoke, and he had no idea how to write or use sign language. He just kinda flailed his limbs about bluntly, which everyone assumed was some strange Aztec way of speaking, or something like that.

"What do you want, Eliezer?" Asked Lennie, who was confused as FUCK. As Eliezer began to lash his hands about more intensely, Lennie became more and MORE confused. "Hey, Cornelius! Get your ass over here and tell me what the hell this guy's trying to say!"

Cornelius was the only KNOWN zombie pirate ninja in the entire village , AND the only person who could understand the secret language of the Eliezer. People, mostly assumed it was because they were childhood friends….. or someth- WHATEVER! Moving on.

Cornelius then ran, or flailed, in a very zombie-like fashion, over to Lennie-o's seat. "Oooof course I will, darling! But you have to ask me _nicely._" He said seductively with a little winky-poo.

Lennie cringed. "Just tell me what he's saying, dammit!"

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiine. He seems to be asking you if you would like to form a team with him, hunny."

"UGH. Well, whatever. Not like I have anyone else to form a team with anyways."

"If THAT'S the case then you're going to need _me_ of course. I AM the only one who can understand him, you know. OH! This is going to be so FUN! I can't wait!"

At this point, Lennie had slouched over in his chair so much, he was practially on the floor.

"Ohmigosh, hay! Are you guys forming a team together! Ohmigosh, I soooooooo want in!" Enter Heidy. On the outside she SEEMED like a harmless sauske fangirl. But on the inside, she was a lean, mean, yaoi shippin' machine! Lord knows what kinds of crazy, demented thoughts were going through her head at that very moment.

"Guagh!" Lennie whined. "WHY!"

Becaaaaause! You look emo, and that is soooooo hot these days! Even if you're not nearly as hot as sauske!"

"Did…you….just…call..me…..EMO! I AM NOT EMO!" Lennie shouted. He began throwing anything he could get his hands on, and his strength doulbled as if he were THE HULK! Only NINJA version.

The classroom went into complete chaos, as all the children screamed and ran about. People were shouting things like "OH DEAR GOD! NOT AGAIN!" and "SOMEONE HURRY UP AND GET SOME WARM MILK!" Sure enough, minutes later, someone ran into the classroom, holding a glass of warm milk, screaming, "I'VE GOT IT! HURRY UP AND HOLD HIM DOWN!"

In seconds, there was a pile of kids on top of Lennie, trying to keep him from struggling, while one student poured the milk down his throat. Immediately after the milk hit his stomach, Lennie seemed to calm down and all asleep.

While this was going down, Heidy, Eliezer, and Cornelius, were watching from the side lines.

Heidy watched the whole thing VERY, like, NINJA intently and whispered under her breath, "This might actually make a really good yaoi fanfic."

Upon hearing this, Cornelius turned to Heidy and said "Oh! I _like _you! You are_ definitely_ in girlfriend!"


	2. Chapter Too

Sooooo, uh. I think this chapter might just be even WORSE than the first one. xD

Btw. Naruto belongs to that guy who made it. Even though you can barely even tell they're in Naruto world…

Tell me if you like it! Beware of bad spelling and grammarz! I wrote this at 1 am.

And so, the newly formed "team" of NINJA students, were given their extremely vague instructions on where to meet their new NINJA master the next day, by their old NINJA teacher.

"So here's the deal," Said the 'teacher' who never did SHIT, "You guys are gonna have to use your super NINJA senses to find your new NINJA masters tomorrow, because, frankly, I don't give a damn. As for your team number-name-things, just go ahead and make one up. And those are your instruction. PEACE."

"Well this is great!" said Lennie with OBVIOUS sarcasm, "How the hell do they expect us to find this guy!"

"Ummm duh! With our SUPER NINJA SENSES! Like NINJA teacher said." Stated Heidy, without the slightest hint of sarcasm what-so-ever. Lennie facepalmed so hard, he blacked out for a couple minutes.

Eleizer started flailing about once again.

"What is it, Eleizer? What is it boy?" Lennie joked, "Is little Timmy stuck in a well!"

"I believeeee," Said Cornelius, "that Eleizer is saying that his super NINJA senses are telling him to look….aaaat a…. strip club."

"What the hell kind of NINJA master spends his time at STRIP CLUB!"

"Well don't ask _me_, sweetie! Eleizer's the one who said it!"

"I think you're just makin' shit up. Besides, we wouldn't be able to get in to a strip club, even if we wanted to! I say we just go to some generic meeting place and wait for someone to show up. Like a lake or something."

"Oh ho ho! It just so happens I knooow where to find a lake. It's a very _romantic _spot. We should go there sometime, just the _two of us._" Cornelius put his arm over Lennie's shoulders, kinda like someone would when they're on a date and there's that kinda awkward moment when they pretend to yawn but instead… nevermind. It doesn't matter.

Lennie looked over at Heidy, who was scribbling something down in a little pocket-sized notepad.

"Please don't tell me you're taking NOTES."

"Of course I aaam! This is, like, fanfic GOLD!"

Lennie rolled his eyes and pushed Cornelius to the floor. "Sooo, I guess tomorrow we'll all meet up and then go find a lake somewhere, right?"

"_Right-ooo!_"

"Okaaaaay!"

Eleizer flailed his arms twice, which everyone assumed meant yes.

~TRANSITION!~

[At some lake somewhere]

The silence was pretty awkward, but this time especially, for some reason. For instance, if the phrase, 'every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born," were true, at least a dozen gay babies would have been born.

Cornelius was the first to try and break the silence.

"Sooooo, _Lennie. I herd you liek mudkips._"

Lennie inched away slowly.

"What's a Mudkip?" Heidy asked.

"It's a _Pokemon_, honey."

"Pokemon?"

"It's a _cartoon_."

"Ooooh! Well, I only watch Naruto. Sauske is so hot."

"Wait a minute," Lennie interrupted, "how is that even possible?"

Then, suddenly, a man in a NINJA outfit stumbled out of a tree and landed right in front of them. He looked extremely dazed, like he had no idea what he was doing. Eleizer started to flail uncontrollably.

"Our friend Eleizer, here, would like to know if _you're_ supposed to be our new NINJA master." Cornelius said to the freaky NINJA man.

"Depends," He said while stumbling everywhere, "you guys in league with the unicorn mafia?"

"Not that _I_ know of."

"Then I guess I'm your man! My name's Billy, but you guys can call me Billster or the Billmeister, for short."

"Aren't both of those names LONGER than your real name?" Lennie added.

"What's your point, little dude?" Billy said as he fell backwards. Heidy knelt down next to him and went to poke him out of curiosity. Right as her finger was about to hit his face he shouted, "DON'T TOUCH ME! I'm a grenade! I could explode at ANY MINUTE!"

'Great.' Lennie thought to himself, 'just when I thought this team couldn't get any worse, we get some crazy, alcoholic crack-head as our NINJA master. That's just wonderful.'


End file.
